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Blog post, January 29, 2019

 

Regrets 

 

Today was a good day. Interestingly enough, though, it didn't start that  way. Nope. Quite the opposite because my day began with one of those  bad dreams we have just before waking. In my dream my son Matt was a  little boy and for some reason, my husband Vaughan and I had sent him to live with  another family because we were both too busy to look after him. In the  dream, he had come home for a visit and I discovered that he'd started  calling the woman looking after him Mom.
 

I have no idea what the dream meant, other than to say that I must have  regrets about time I didn't spend with him growing up; and so it was  with that feeling that I woke up. And it wasn't a pleasant awakening  either. It was one of those mornings I hit snooze on my phone about 10  times and when I finally rolled out of bed and into the shower, I opted  for the highest octane coffee I had.
 

And then it continued. I got to work and realized I'd left my glasses at  home. Along with my make up bag, chap stick, and Ibuprofen (for the  head ache that was beginning to take shape as I entered the office). But  despite all that, I had a presentation to do at a local elementary  school at 10:30 and knew I had to put my best game face on because  presentations are always better when the people doing them are in a good  mood.
 

So that's what I did. And it's an interesting thing that happens when we  decide, that despite all stormy weather, we're going to have a good day  anyway and approach everything that comes our way with a smile and a  positive spirit. When we do this a surprising thing happens: suddenly a  bad day has the potential of becoming the best day.
 

At least, that's how it was for me.
 

The presentation went amazing and the children clung to my words and  the message I was there to share which is: YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
 

Afterward, several kids approached me to talk and as I sat with each of  them, listening and being there as they shared the worries on their  minds and their hearts, I was gifted with the realization that maybe I  wasn't such a bad mother after all. Although I got a lot of things  wrong, I was always there, I always listened, and I think I conveyed the  message that YOU ARE IMPORTANT, and I LOVE YOU beyond all measure in  everything I did.
 

At least I hope so.
 

That's the kicker with regrets. As we grow older we grow wiser and from  the vantage point of age and experience there are so many things we'd do  differently but we can't. So I guess our best choice is to accept  everything and to remember that even our mistakes are gifts for other  people because nobody learns with an absence of struggle and perhaps in  the universal scheme of things, the greatest gifts we give our children  are the things they need to find the strength to overcome.
 

Today's reminder: What if our regrets - the things we'd change if we could - don't really need changing? What if everything we've done has acted as a universal domino prompting growth and learning in the people around us?  What if we learned to accept this? What if?